Turning Point

Alohers!!!!

So I cheated..yeah I skipped week 4 and yes it is now week 5; but I daresay that much has been learned in the past 2 weeks...especially today.

As March wraps up and welcomes April (and hopefully Spring) I am so blessed to have experiences that help me draw closer to Heavenly Father. Today I was unable to go to church so Michael (that's my courageous husband...love him) braved the 5 inches of fresh snow and went to church...mostly because we couldn't bear to leave our Nursery without teachers...but also because church is important. Anyway, while he was gone I took a shower to feel better and laid down watching the snow fall. At first the snow was depressing (we all know why) but then while looking outside and drifting into a somewhat nostalgic mood, I suddenly had something similar to a flashback. It was like I was realizing all the things that I needed to change in my life AND realizing that I could. It wasn't shallow or fleeting, it was solid and real. An answer to my pleas to be free and to find the courage to change. It was so overwhelming I couldn't help but cry; cry tears of sorrow, pain, remorse and then joy and love. A song came to mind as I lay there, crying: (Text: Mary B. Wingate, 1899-1933)

Dear to the heart of the Shepherd,

Dear are the sheep of his fold;

Dear is the love that he gives them,

Dearer than silver or gold.

Dear to the heart of the Shepherd,

Dear are his “other” lost sheep;

Over the mountains he follows,

Over the waters so deep.

Dear to the heart of the Shepherd,

Dear are the lambs of his fold;

Some from the pastures are straying,

Hungry and helpless and cold.

See, the Good Shepherd is seeking,

Seeking the lambs that are lost,

Bringing them in with rejoicing,

Saved at such infinite cost.

I didn't understand how much I was worth; not really and not truly. Maybe even now I don't really see the value of one person like myself. But today in that quiet hour watching the snow fall I felt a little bit, probably not even a speck, of how much Heavenly Father loves me. It was enough and even too-much that he chose to reach out to a "lost sheep" who was "hungry and helpless and cold". I don't know that things are going to be easy from here on out but I know that they can be if I choose to follow the Good Shepherd. It was a turning point I could have missed but through tender mercies, I was allowed to experience.

So just as a reminder, this month we celebrate Easter. We are reminded of the joy and life that comes from the Atonement. Let's focus on what the Atonements means to us, individually, as that is what it was...an individual and personal sacrifice for you and me.

Peace, 
Mabs

The Spirit of Thanksgiving

Alright...Week number 3 begins now!

A thought that has continued to press on my mind is that in order to truly change a spiritual transformation has to take place. When the promise to change is between God and you, it changes the dynamics of your purpose to change. There is a word for this change, it's called repentance. I am still learning a lot about this concept, so I can't say much about what it means right now, but overtime we will both learn something.

So another thing I have been thinking about is ways to help me on my way to "Change". Today I was watching "Mormon Messages" on youtube and found a talk from President Thomas S. Monson titled "The Divine Gift of Gratitude". He said the following, "We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”

When we are grateful we remember the times the Lord has blessed us and personally I think that it empowers us to try a little harder. Positive thought cultivates positive action. This week I have resolved to count my blessings and be grateful for them. I have sooooooooo much to be grateful for.

So this week, I will focus on being grateful for all I have and try harder to show that gratitude in the way I live my life.

Peace out,

Mabs

Beginning the Change

So now that I have promised all 5,000 of my imaginary followers that I will be changing, I guess I need to show some kind of follow-up to it. I guess. First off, I will be honest in saying that week 1 was a dud. After the excitement of starting a new blog and moving forward wore off I sunk back into my comfortable routine. No change has taken my life by storm...yet.

I spoke with my sisters today and saw their comments on my Peak Ohana blog (kawehis.blogspot.com) and thought "I need to keep going". Sarah, sister #2, shared an awesome poem with me that you may recognize from the movie "Invictus".

Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul. 

After some pondering (aka, deeper thinking than just a minute) I began to think about who really dictates the choices I make in my life. Do I allow myself to consciously make positive decisions that lead me to destinations that I desire? What is it that I truly desire? Which horizons do I seek? Who is the captain of my soul?

This week my goal is to get my spiritual life back on track. Get my scripture study back to existence, prayer back to existence and worshipping God back to existence.

"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul"

Mabs

Kickstart

Alohaz, BULA and Hello!

This blog has been long overdue. So much I want to put in this but so much I have not. So "Starting all over again" is a blog about my new beginning.
In 2011 I started a blog preparing for my married life. That was a new beginning for me. I had a lot I needed to change in my life; the way I thought, the way I did things and just my perspective. I started just over 100 days before getting married and then I counted down. Then after getting married, I kept going; writing about the joys of being married while trying to keep the personal spats personal. kawehisblogspot.com grew into a connection I shared with my family, who are all now millions of miles away from me.

Now, I have another major life-changing event coming up. Michael and I are starting our family, introducing a little boy to the mix of things; And yet again I am faced with the realization that I need to change. I need to change the way I think, the way I do things and just the way I look at life, my perspective has got to change. It's scary and exciting. So here, in this new blog kawehisnew.blogspot.com I am writing about this journey to a different, better version of me. Not only because I know it'll make me feel better, but also because it'll help me be a better wife and mother; and those are the most important things in the world.

So to anyone who cares to share this experience or just watch as I make a fool of myself in this new experience, come along! as I start this magnificent journey at my 6 months-pregnancy mark.

A new chapter begins; same skin, different outlook.

Mabs